Posts Tagged ‘temptation’
Mourning cereal
Believe it or not, way back when when I was tipping the scales at 450+-pounds, I would go through a box of cereal in 2-3 days. My “trick” for accomplishing such a feat was to nibble as much cereal as I was pouring into the bowl. Had I bothered to check the suggested serving size, I would have seen that I was eating for 4. Of course, my 60-inch waist sort of made that clear already. Needless to say, I wasn’t paying attention.
To this day, I crave and love breakfast cereal. To the point of obsession. Because of this, there have been times that I’ve considered cutting it out of my diet altogether. But with a bunch of healthy cereal options available today along with the fact that cereal is a fast, convenient and delicious way to have breakfast (one of the most important meals of the day – whether on or off a diet), cereal is something I wanted to learn to live with.
But even when preparing cereal today (at 175-pounds), I still feel the urge to pour cereal into the bowl while also having a ‘cereal appetizer’ while standing at the counter. If I didn’t regulate myself, I could easily go through a third of a box of cereal or more. That’s why I never trust myself to pour cereal freely. Instead, I pour it into a measuring cup before I pour it into my breakfast bowl and add my sliced banana. And for what it’s worth, I measure the 2% milk I use, as well.
This might come as a surprise to some of you reading this. Most people assume that because I’ve kept my 250 pounds of excess weight off for over a decade, that I’ve got this weight thing beat. That’s true in some respects. But part of what keeps the excess weight off is knowing that I’ll never really have it beat and that I can never let my guard down. My daily food intake is something I’m always thinking about, planning for and paying attention to. Not in a mentally unhealthy way, but in a efficient way. Or weigh, as the case may be.
Whenever I reveal to fellow dieters that I must still pay attention to and even sometimes measure my food portions, they often register disappointment – as if they thought that once you take the weight off, you magically never have to think about dieting again. But in truth, this ‘food and health consciousness’ must become a part of ourselves that we never leave behind (even during those times when we decide it’s okay to have ice cream – or whatever – as a treat).
This need to ‘stay on top of what and how much I eat’ is reiterated almost daily for me – usually when I’m preparing breakfast and pouring breakfast cereal. I know that I can’t be trusted. So even though I’ve been “thin” for years and happily fit into my skinny jeans, I still get the measuring cup out and measure the exact amount of cereal necessary for a healthy and low calorie breakfast. It could be argued that, by now, I should know what a ‘cup’ holds. But when it comes to cereal and other ‘tempting foods,’ I know that my mind’s version of a cup full and real life’s version of a cup full are two very different things.
In other words: When it comes to cereal, the measuring cup is my friend.
But none of this has to be bad news. No matter what your most tempting foods are, you can still have them – in moderation and in healthy portions. And with tools like measuring cups, we can ‘eat like a thin person’ and not overdo it to the point of triggering a binge, stuffing ourselves to the point of discomfort or making our skinny clothes feel too tight.
What are your tempting foods? Do you still allow yourself to have them even if on some sort of weight loss program? Or do you try and avoid the foods for the time being? I’d love to hear from you on this topic. We can even discuss over a bowl of cereal. Assuming you’ve got a measuring cup I can borrow.
Confessions of a cereal killer
Does anyone know if there’s a 12-step program for breakfast cereal addicts? If so, I’ll have to consider attending a meeting. Although I’m not sure I’d ever achieve even a 1-day chip. Because when it comes to breakfast cereal, I’ve got a problem.
Back in the day, when I was tipping the scales at 450+-pounds, I would go through a box of cereal in 2-3 days. My “trick” for accomplishing such a feat was to nibble as much cereal as I was pouring into the bowl. Had I bothered to check the suggested serving size, I would have seen that I was eating for 4. Of course, my 60-inch waist sort of made that clear already. Needless to say, I wasn’t paying attention.
To this day, I crave and love breakfast cereal. To the point of obsession. Because of this, there have been times that I’ve considered cutting it out of my diet altogether. But with a bunch of healthy cereal options available today along with the fact that cereal is a fast, convenient and delicious way to have breakfast (one of the most important meals of the day – whether on or off a diet), cereal is something I wanted to learn to live with.
But even when preparing cereal today (at 175-pounds), I still feel the urge to pour cereal into the bowl while also having a ‘cereal appetizer’ while standing at the counter. If I didn’t regulate myself, I could easily go through a third of a box of cereal or more. That’s why I never trust myself to pour cereal freely. Instead, I pour it into a measuring cup before I pour it into my breakfast bowl and add my sliced banana. And for what it’s worth, I measure the 2% milk I use, as well.
This might come as a surprise to some of you reading this. Most people assume that because I’ve kept my 250 pounds of excess weight off for over a decade, that I’ve got this weight thing beat. That’s true in some respects. But part of what keeps the excess weight off is knowing that I’ll never really have it beat and that I can never let my guard down. My daily food intake is something I’m always thinking about, planning for and paying attention to. Not in a mentally unhealthy way, but in a efficient way. Or weigh, as the case may be.
Whenever I reveal to fellow dieters that I must still pay attention to and even sometimes measure my food portions, they often register disappointment – as if they thought that once you take the weight off, you magically never have to think about dieting again. But in truth, this ‘food and health consciousness’ must become a part of ourselves that we never leave behind (even during those times when we decide it’s okay to have ice cream – or whatever – as a treat).
This need to ‘stay on top of what and how much I eat’ is reiterated almost daily for me – usually when I’m preparing breakfast and pouring breakfast cereal. I know that I can’t be trusted. So even though I’ve been “thin” for years and happily fit into my skinny jeans, I still get the measuring cup out and measure the exact amount of cereal necessary for a healthy and low calorie breakfast. It could be argued that, by now, I should know what a ‘cup’ holds. But when it comes to cereal and other ‘tempting foods,’ I know that my mind’s version of a cup full and real life’s version of a cup full are two very different things.
In other words: When it comes to cereal, the measuring cup is my friend.
But none of this has to be bad news. No matter what your most tempting foods are, you can still have them – in moderation and in healthy portions. And with tools like measuring cups, we can ‘eat like a thin person’ and not overdo it to the point of triggering a binge, stuffing ourselves to the point of discomfort or making our skinny clothes feel too tight.
What are your tempting foods? Do you still allow yourself to have them even if on some sort of weight loss program? Or do you try and avoid the foods for the time being? I’d love to hear from you on this topic. We can even discuss over a bowl of cereal. Assuming you’ve got a measuring cup I can borrow.
Where’s your joy?
The other evening I was quickly walking through my home office when I was suddenly startled by a loud squeak. I looked down to see that I’d just stepped on one of what seems like hundreds of toys that are strewn throughout my home. I try to keep these toys picked up so they remain contained in one of two toy baskets, but most are constantly in use and, therefore, often waiting to surprise me with a squeak attack when I’m hurrying from one room to another.
Looking at the toys, you might conclude that I had a toddler (or two). I do have a wee one that plays with all the toys. And he is two years old. But he’s covered in fur, weighs 7 pounds and is named Latte – an adorable little Morkie (if I do say so myself). And he is truly one of the biggest joys of my life.
To say Latte is spoiled rotten would be an understatement, although he really is one of the sweetest, happiest little guys you could ever hope to meet. And boy, does he love to play with toys. So despite my mimicking the evil Berger-Meister-Meister-Berger and often proclaiming “There will be no more toys!,” there inevitably are more toys – whether received as gifts or bought by this “Daddy” who can’t resist his “Kid.” Thus, there are toys all over my home – usually in various states of play.
So the other evening, when I stepped on a toy and realized I was standing in a virtual minefield of toys, I didn’t get irritated. Instead, I realized that all of these toys that were seemingly making my otherwise well organized home look messy were symbols of joy for me. Representing joy embodied in a 7-pound pooch full of unconditional love… Joy embodied in toys that the said pooch plays joyfully with… Joy embodied in a squeaky toy reminding me to slow down for a second and smell the roses – or count the toys, in any case.
Here’s where I must confess that I didn’t always find joy in everyday objects. Back in the day, when I weighed in excess of 450 pounds, I was constantly looking to food to provide my joy in life. And at the time, I was sure that food was providing just that – joy.
Looking back, I can see now that the massive amount of unhealthy food I was eating was actually doing just the opposite of providing joy. I’d be so miserable after a binge and in such mental and physical pain, that as soon as I had room in my stomach, I would once again seek comfort from food.
This “Food for Joy Syndrome” continued for years and years – until I finally broke the cycle by realizing I had to find other sources of joy to use in place of the food. Imagine my surprise when I realized that food had never really been providing comfort or joy in the first place but, instead, had been keeping me from it.
Living in California, I’m surrounded by self-help gurus who constantly remind us that there is joy in every minute. I used to guffaw at such “nutty-crunchy” theories. But these days, surrounded by toys and other “small” blessings, I realize that there really is joy to be found in whichever direction you look – as long as you’re not looking in the direction of the refrigerator.
I’m not saying food can’t bring us joy on occasion. But food really is more delicious (and potentially more full of joy) when eaten in balance, in moderation and in the right portions. Otherwise, the food isn’t providing joy as much as it’s providing a numbing effect. And that can cut us off from many of life’s other – and very real – joys (including smaller sized clothes, a healthier heart, more self confidence and a less stressful social life).
By breaking ourselves free from the cycle of equating our only joy with food, we free ourselves – not only to meet our weight loss or health-oriented goals, but also to really appreciate everything around us. Whether it’s a lick on the face from a puppy, a favorite TV show, a call from an old friend or a beautiful sunrise, there can be joy in every minute if we set out to acknowledge said joys.
And in times that we’re rushing around, too busy to count our blessings, we can hope for a squeaky dog toy or some kind of other reminder to bring us back into the moment and help us realign ourselves with what’s really important in our lives.
Evil, thy name is peanut butter
Many assume that because I have kept my excess weight off for more than a decade, I’ve got it all figured out. I guess in some ways I do. But in many ways, I don’t. I’m actually not sure I ever will have healthy eating and/or living totally figured out. It’s all a journey. And my goofs offer as many lessons as my triumphs. Not to mention as many laughs.
After all, there are dangerous edible temptations out there for all of us food conscious types – myself included. Some refer to these as “Trigger Foods.” Me? I refer to them as pure, unadulterated evil. You know, the insidious kinds of evils they wrote about in the book of Revelations – or that are featured on ‘The Jersey Shore.’ Evils that tempt, taunt and seduce. For me, one of the most dangerous evils of all is… Peanut butter.
Removed of its temptress-like properties, well made peanut butter can actually be a wholesome food to include in a healthy eating regime – within moderation, of course. But when it comes to peanut butter, I know nothing of ‘within moderation.’ In fact, I see a jar of peanut butter more as a big pudding cup, as opposed to a spreadable substance offering up to 23 servings, depending on the size of the jar.
I mean, come on! A whole serving listed as a mere 2 tablespoons and nothing more? Didn’t makers of peanut butter know that, at the time, 2 tablespoons represented what I consumed just while spreading the stuff on my toast?
I remember one time, during my heavier years, that a friend returned from Amish Country and brought me a jar of homemade peanut butter laced with chocolate chips. And yes, I knowingly use the word ‘laced’ in the same way that the word would be used in conjunction with certain illegal substances. Because, kids, this jar of peanut butter with chocolate chips turned out to be a cleverly disguised drug.
This happened long before I learned to Just Stop Eating So Much and to experience food as it’s meant to be experienced – with proper portion control. And since I was on Diet #5,642 (give or take) at the time, I promptly put the jar onto a tall shelf and tried my best to forget it existed. And forget I did. Until…
One day while cleaning shelves… No, wait. That’s a lie… One day while searching my kitchen for a food product not endorsed by whatever eating plan I was on at the time, I came across the mystical jar from Amish Country. And, to my surprise, enough time had passed that the chocolate chips had actually melted – thereby creating “rivers” of chocolate running through the peanut butter.
Well, I probably don’t have to report that before you could say “Nutter Butter Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookie,” I had popped the top, grabbed a spoon and sat down to a huge “pudding cup” – lapping up the peanut butter and chocolate as if it were my last meal (which is often the thinking that goes hand-in-hand with a binge).
Of course, after I finished indulging, I felt sick, guilty and listless. I also felt like calling my friend and yelling at them for giving a dieter such a “gift” in the first place.
For the record, I also felt like asking that very same friend where, exactly, another magical jar of peanut butter could be purchased and if the Amish Country store had mail order. I refrained. A concept I wish I had embraced in regard to peanut butter itself. But alas, peanut butter’s mysterious power was strong back in the day. And I must admit that, for me, it’s still a force to be reckoned with even at this very moment.
I have another peanut butter story – one that involves the peanut butter actually attacking back (besides just around the waist line). But before I share that confession (in a future post), I want to ask you what your evil and/or trigger foods are.
Any temptations?
Any confessions?
Any funny stories?
You can either laugh with me or at me. But please – lay it on me! (Just promise you’ll never go shopping for me in Amish Country.)
This is not your mother’s diet blog…
Welcome to Just Stop Eating So Much! – the blog that hopes to change lives, one reasonable bite at a time. Just don’t expect a lot of handholding. During my 20+ years of dieting, I found that too much handholding and consoling helped me not to lose weight, but to gain it (and then some). And yes, you read that right – 20+ years of dieting.
At my “peak” (mountain-related word intended), I weighed over 450 pounds. No. That’s not a typo. It’s the truth. At that point, I had no hope of ever getting rid of the excess weight, much less living the ‘normal’ life I dreamed of. Oh, how I wanted to “Fall into the Gap” and buy jeans that weren’t made for a 60” waist – not to mention how I yearned to walk into a room and not feel like everyone was judging me adversely (whether they were or weren’t). I never dreamed I would eventually take off all the excess weight (and do so without any ‘tricks,’ pills, surgery or unhealthy food-group-banning diets).
You see, despite being a “skinny kid” for the first couple years of life, I began to “blossom” around age 6. Suddenly my parents had to shop for clothes in the Sears Big and Tall Catalog and I was restricted to the classic household diet (back in the day) of a burger patty and cottage cheese. In fact, my parents initiated martial law and banned all junk food. Suddenly there were no chips, cookies or candy of any kind to be found in our military base apartment. And trust me, I searched high and low.
No matter though. Where there’s a will, there’s a ‘weigh.’ Having been introduced to the concept of ‘forbidden fruit’ by my parents’ strict eating rules, I was soon stealing money from my Dad’s wallet and high-tailing it to the nearest food store, where I’d stock up on my own personal supply of candy, chips and even ice cream. Now mind you, my Dad was an Air Force Officer and didn’t easily tolerate any disobedience. Thus, I would have to devour the contraband food within a day’s time, otherwise be caught and punished (plus, the ice cream was gonna melt otherwise).
Thus began my cycle of bingeing to excess – usually to the point of terrible physical pain. Sure, my parents saw I was gaining more and more weight. And there were a couple times I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar (figuratively and literally). But the more diets they put me on, the more “Last Suppers” I partook in. Yes, I wanted to be thin and like the other kids. At this point I was the butt of most jokes. But my compulsion to eat was great – especially since, as a kid, I didn’t understand I wouldn’t really be giving up ice cream forever.
My adventures only got bigger from there. Pun intended. The higher on the scale I traveled, the lower my low points sank. From having fifth graders pay a girl to see if she’d actually kiss the school’s resident fat kid (AKA – me). To having a movie theater seat break underneath me while on a date in high school. To having to ask for seatbelt extensions whenever flying. To eating expired potato chips out of the trashcan. To stepping on my fancy digital scale and seeing ‘ERR,’ which I later learned meant ‘Error,’ signaling that the scale was not programmed to weigh anyone heavier than 450 pounds. But all of these low points eventually led up to one heck of a high point – ultimately learning an old adage to be very true: Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. And that, my dear readers, is what this blog is going to be about:
The Before.
The During.
The After.
All the stages of my zany, tense, scary and ultimately joyful adventure in the weight-ing game. And yes – joyful. After all, happiness is one of the key components to any kind of transformation. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s just get back to the original point. This is going to be anything but the typical diet blog.
I plan on sharing funny and inspirational stories, tips, recipes, exercise routines and a whole lot of tough love. No crying to me about ‘I don’t know how I got so fat,’ because if that’s your take on things, you’re lying to yourself. I know because I spent 20+ years lying to myself. But the good news is, that along with the tough love, we’re going to have a lot of laughs. In fact, whether you have 100+ pounds to lose, 5 pounds to lose or no pounds to lose, I encourage you to check back often. Or even better? Subscribe. Because I promise you one heck of a wild ride… One that we can embark on together.
Ready? Set. Go!
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